Friday, April 29
Wednesday morning's good mood quickly dissipated into a haze of period pain and self pity. I came home at lunchtime and shortly after I felt fine again. Just typical. Come the evening though I was feeling snuffly and snotty, like a cold was coming on. Sure enough, yesterday morning I awoke sneezing everywhere with rivers of snot flowing from my nose. I stayed in bed. Today I feel much better, though still snotty, and I can't wait to go outside into the sunshine again. I should really stay at home and not go to SHIP as I have so much work to do, we were given four (four!) briefs on Wednesday which need to be done in the next 6 or 7 weeks, one of which will be spent in Belfast, but what with coming home early Wednesday and not going out yesterday, and it being a bank holiday on Monday, I'm essentially getting a 5 or 6 day weekend, and I hate weekends due to their lack of contact with people. I can't stand people but I need them, in small doses, to keep me sane. One of my great oxymorons. So SHIP it is. And Beanos too, for pie.
11:55
Wednesday, April 27
There was a gorgeous morning today. Warm sun, singing birds, gentle, floating clouds. You can tell Belatine is around the corner. The daffodils are dying off now but have been replaced with tulips, pansies, daisies, dandelions, irises, bluebells and lavender. The tulips seem particularly pretty for some reason. I saw a blackbird catch a crisp for breakfast and swoop off with it to munch away in a tree. All life seems content. The trees are blooming again, especially the blossoms. It seems there was a bit of wind last night as the pavements were covered in petals and it looked like confetti. I've often said May is my favourite month and I can't wait for it to arrive, though I know I need to spend most of it working hard. Hopefully I'll be able to balance that work with weekends laying in the park, then, at the end, with visiting Rory. I seem to be feeling quite hopeful, despite despairing about my photography exam (my work is certain to be crap), being lonely and in pain due to the arrival of my period. I saw Tony, the bloke from my class I fancied, for the first time yesteday in over a month. I appear to be over my brief obsession with him, as he's returned from his trip to America with a crap haircut. Am I really that fickle and swayed by looks? Ah, who cares? It's too nice a day to get hung up on such things.
10:00
Monday, April 25
The mystery of the strange, air-denying smell in the darkroom has been solved. It was the stop bath. Apparantly it's meant to be watered down 1:29. It was being watered down 1:4. Oops.
13:52
Sunday, April 24
The weather has been reasonably perky, these last few days. Unusual for April but we have to take all the chances it gives us. On Friday I met David for lunch and we ate pie in the park whilst laughing at pigeons. Yesterday I stayed in and moped. Watched
Gosford Park and avoided doing any work. Today I went up to Simon's and then across to Robert Dane's. I haven't heard from him in weeks and was beginning to suspect either severe depression or death. Turns out he had just lost his mobile and was rarely at home as he's got back together with Chris. We went for a walk to the international supermarket where I bought more Coco Pops, chocolate milk and we shared some halva. Afterwards I actually did a little work. I think I'm going to work with peacock motifs for my hairdressing promotions - they suggest beautiful coiffeuse to me, even though the B3tan responses to a well-styled animal ranged from Jack Russells, jellyfish and axolotls to penguins, bald eagles and baby orangutans.
Tomorrow I have a dentist's appointment, then my mum's agreed to dye my hair red. Hopefully it'll be a bit more successful than the blue.
20:03
Wednesday, April 20
The weather's being typically April - one day rainy, grey and overcast, one day of bright sunshine and unashamed warmth. Yesterday was one of the second days. I had been staying at my parents so I could go to work with my mum and take photographs of her customers for my project. I left their house at around half past nine and the birds were singing, cats were prowling, sun was shining, flowers were dancing and all was happy. There are some beautiful old houses with lovely gardens between the house and her shop so I had a slow walk and took many photographs.
The time I spent at the shop was quite dull. Mostly I was sweeping up for my mum or making drinks or removing curlers from hair. I went for a wander into the village at lunchtime with the hope of getting more appointment cards from other hairdressers and of finding something to eat. I got more than enough cards - eight, and there were two salons I didn't even go in. At the Co-Op I got hummus, bread and Hula Hoops which I ate whilst sat outside on a bench. The day made me realise how nice Baildon actually is. It's full of things I love: old houses, beautiful architecture, strange, hidden lanes and courtyards, huge trees and so on. Pity it's full of fuckwits. Most of its inhabitants seem to be the mid-thirties bunch who drive fast cars or the middle aged to elderly bunch who are a set of right wing, reactionary bigots. My mum told me off for arguing with one of her customers when she said there wasn't enough censorship anymore.
The day didn't go too slowly, I suppose. There have been far worse days. I was glad to get home in the evening though. I'm used to sleeping for a couple of hours in the late afternoon and there was no chance of that at my parents.
Other exciting things happening recently: Tried to dye my hair blue. It failed miserably. Didn't have enough dye so it looks like I did dye it, but about 6 weeks ago. Will do it red on Monday. Rory and I have decided to go to the Green Man Festival. I've been putting on weight and feel crap about it so need to get back this diet thing. Need more hugs. Please give generously.
10:20
Monday, April 18
Thursday, April 14
Whoops. Looks like I forgot to keep blogging again. Well life has been passing at a slow to steady pace. Mostly filled with Coco Pops. The server at college is in a precarious state and is misbehaving. I'm off to my mum's shop on Saturday to take photos for my project. I'm also going for a meal with my parents tomorrow evening, so I should be thoroughly sick of them by the time I get home. The April weather is truly with us - there was torrential rain today. And this morning as I was walking to college, there was a cat in the road. Then a woman came with a spade and a black binliner and put it into the bag. I could see its eyes. She walked off with it towards one of the wheelie bins were on the street then I set off again. How long had it been there for? Had she hit it? Did she know the owners and could let them know what had happened? It upset me.
20:10
Saturday, April 9
If I thought that learning about Quark was bad, I was completely unprepared for Friday's lesson on HTML For Beginners. I almost went insane I was so bored. At break time I went and found Peter, our tutor on Fridays, and we agreed that the time would be much more constructively spent if I could work on my hairdressing brief or my photography exam instead of having to produce work which I was competant at doing eight years ago. So I no longer have to go to college on Fridays. This is Good News. And speaking of photography, there's some absolutely stunning work at
Plastic Moon. Her images are so wonderful I might explode with jealousy.
21:27
Wednesday, April 6
The April weather is here! Wind, rain, inexplicable bouts of sunshine! It just must have been hiding for a while. This morning at college we started a class on Quark Xpress. It turns out it's just posh DTP program and I already know how to do most things from my years of working with Publisher. The class was thus pretty boring. I'm now about to start a class on Illustrator with a tutor who was told we're all complete beginners, when we've had about 5 weeks work on it with Peter. This should crawling-up-the-walls kind of stuff, I suspect. Oh joy.
Update: The class wasn't as bad as I was expecting. And I'm not just saying that cos I ended up giving the tutor my URL!
12:55
Monday, April 4
I've just arrived home from college, lugging a bag filled with heavy art books over my shoulder. Standing in the road, all alone, was a pigeon. Not that unusual, pigeons are common, especially around here. Except this pigeon was all puffed up, as they tend to do when it's windy or rainy, to try and keep themselves warm and dry. The weather is sunny and warm, especially for April (still no sign of this sodding rain) and although there's a bit of a breeze, it's nothing which should trouble a pigeon. Wondering why he was stood thus, I stopped on the opposite pavement and watched the bird for a while. This seemed to disconcert him. He started glancing around, watching me, looking worried. When I'd been walking up the road he seemed to be standing still, so it was my observation which was causing this movement. He didn't unpuff his feathers or move his body, just his head and eyes. After a short while I moved a bit further up the road to my front door and I looked on some more. He carried on watching me. It was a very strange exchange of glances between us. I've looked out of the window just now and he's moved, up the road towards me, though he's walking around in the road, not just standing there. I wonder if he's lonely.
15:33
Sunday, April 3
I'm not feeling very well. Feeling very unloved and rather hated. And I won't get any hugs for a week or more. Back to college tomorrow which should help me get out of this rut a little, though I now have to think about my exam which I don't want to do as I don't have any decent ideas for it. I'm good at aversion. I just don't feel that I can justify my presence much right now. Ah well. Think it's time for bed.
20:10
Saturday, April 2
I refuse to believe it's April. April is meant to be distinguishable only by the unrelenting rain and for the past two days all we've had is warm sunshine. I suspect a conspiracy.
In other supernatural news, the clock in my bathroom whose battery died about 6 or 9 months ago and which I never got around to changing has suddenly started working again. I say suddenly, it's been about a week now, and neither Rory nor I have changed the battery. I'm scared. I do have a new box of Coco Pops to help protect me though.
12:28
Friday, April 1
Another week, another lack of blogging. Mostly due to Rory's presence - I wasn't spending much time on the computer so I never got round to it. He went home yesterday and the house is mine again. He starts a new job on Monday, looking after the systems of
Send It. It means he won't be able to come see me much, though it pays well so I can go see him lots. We didn't do too much whilst he was here as, as previously mentioned, I got my labia pierced, and for the first week or so walking quickly can be painful and you have to be very careful how you sit down. I did make it into college and finished off my portfolio work. I have 3 decent, mounted pieces and two crappy unmounted ones, which hopefully should be enough to get me through. As for the exam, I've scrapped the nightmares idea and am now looking at self portraiture. It's still going to be a difficult subject but far easier than nightmares - I don't need to find extra models and can work with just a plain background instead of having to control the setting completely.
Not much else has been happening. Went to SHIP today, though very few other people did. Tamsin was there, she has a paying position now, so I should get to see her more often, even if it's not in a casual setting. Bleugh. Need to find exciting stuff to write about.
20:37