Wednesday, February 21
I was going to post about being back from Tallinn and being ill and how awful travelling when ill is, but then Blogger spent half an hour trying to persuade me to create a Google account just so I could blog, and I lost all the energy I had just trying to get round it. So I might do that later. Right after I find someone else to blog with, cos sooner or later, using Blogger without a Google account isn't going to be an option any more.
13:43
Monday, February 19
I am in Tallinn. It is cold. I am ill. Bloody typical. Home tomorrow. Not looking forward to travelling ill. Need hugs and strokes. Rory ill too. Bleugh. Send hugs.
15:27
Saturday, February 10
The snow finally came to Leeds last night. It started out soft and fine, almost as if talc was falling from the sky. By half past 11, when I left the Ladyfest Leeds benefit, throat sore from trying to draw attention to our tombola and still not being over my cough / cold, it was falling thick and fast. And settling. Walking up to Amy's house for the post-gig party, people were having snowball fights in the roads at midnight, balls of crushed snow flying through the air, smashing on people's jackets, heads, feet, bare arms... I jumped on some mis-aimed ones in my wellies, globes exploding under the weight of my boots.
This morning it was raining. Long and hard and relentless. All the snow is already gone. And each road has a small river running along each of its edges. Not quite as good, but still wonderful to watch.
17:15
Thursday, February 1
In the middle of another fit of despair about college. These happen periodically still. Issues currently bothering me:
- I need to select an essay title on which to write for Critical Studies. This can be absolutely anything at all, provided it's related in some way to art and design. Decisions have never been my strong point. Over the last three weeks I have been adopting and consequently disposing of possible titles at an unprecedented rate. One needs to be chosen. And soon.
- My video optional module started last night. We have to work in groups of two to four. I do not do group work. And the amount of work we are expected to do is enormous, I do not have the time for it, especially as Ladyfest Leeds occurs two thirds of the way through.
- If I change optional modules, what will I choose instead? The options remaining are animation and web design. Animation could be as bad as video, but it is a level one option, not level two (and I didn't do video at level one). There are two levels to choose web design from. Level one will be far too easy for me, level two might be trying to push me in areas I don't want to go, and anyway, design was never my strong point.
- We have to enter the D&AD competition. I am not particularly interested in doing so, but it is a large percentage of my marks for the year. I have done barely no work on my brief, three weeks in, and time is running out.
My natural inclination is to curl up and ignore everything. This is obviously not the best approach to take. My second instinct is to quit the course, curl up and ignore everything. This is probably even worse. Why do I always fall and the first hint of a hurdle, let alone a true one? Why am I so indecisive, unsure and, to be blatant, pathetic? What went wrong? And more to the point, what do I do about college?
21:17
