Are You A Fan Or Are You A Mouse?
Simon Budgen
i'm off to a gig in a moment - lets hope the evening is full of magic, when
you discover a band thats "alright, really" or "quite good at what they do"
bands should either suffocate you with their absolute demands of your utter,
"of course lead singer you can shag my mother"/"here, take a penknife to my
genitals" desire and supplication, or else they should be forced to retrain
as hospital bin emptying operatives. They shouldn't sound like they're
thinking through the likely implications for the branch closure programme
should Lloyds TSB merge with Abbey National. They should sound like they're
so in love their innards are going to seep out over the floor, or so angry
they're going to shoot first, shoot some more, and then trample things down
a bit with the possibility of questions later. They should be making a
soundtrack to wars, or fucking, or fucking in the middle of wars.
They should not be knocking out workmanlike tunes that you can listen to
while having a cup of tea.